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Will the Man Let You Get High in 2017 or What?


If you’re a typical Baby Boomer, at some point between 1965 and 1972 you had some variant of this conversation:

“Can you believe that grass is illegal, man? They have to legalize it someday, bro. No way can they keep something this groovy under wraps, man. You know man? Can you believe Fidel Castro is still in power?”

If you’re a typical Gen Xer, sometime between 1980 and 1990 you said something like:

“Dude, they can’t keep arresting us for smoking spliffs, you know? That’s so bogus; you can gag me with a spoon. Pass that joint, man; this stuff is bad. Can you believe Castro is still alive?”

If you’re a typical Millennial, then sometime during the Bush/Obama years, you texted your friends with something like:

“OMG, I cant get over how weed isnt legal 4 us 2 smoke. They have to just get over it, lol. Like, its gotta be leglazed sumtime, you know? We should gorw it in Cuba, like, Castro is prettty cool i guess.”

We’re now deep into 2017, Fidel Castro is dead, Trump is president (LOL!), and several states have actually, finally, at long last legalized the weed. Ironically, Gen Zed seems less likely to be full of pot smokers than any of the last three generations, but it’s an option now — for some of them, at least, and to an extent.

As of 2017, seven states plus the District of Columbia (the place that once elected a known crackhead as mayor), have legalized recreational marijuana for adults over 21. Washington, Oregon, Maine, Nevada, Colorado and Massachusetts are all smoke ’em if you got ’em states. Ever the oddball, California legalized recreational weed in 2016, but it won’t license sellers until 2018, though Californians willing to fake a case of glaucoma can still totally get it from a medical dispensary.

Nineteen other states have similar medical-use laws, though the sellers still have trouble getting banking services, possibly because all the banks are now run by jealous Baby Boomers who had to stop smoking 30 years ago and don’t see why their grandchildren should have it easier than they did. Speaking of which, Mary Jane is still illegal on a federal level, so it’s theoretically possible you could get five years in a cell next to an al-Qaeda terrorist if you’re caught with more than an ounce. Happy New Year!

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